So, this week’s SOAR scholarship exercise is one about photography and Me Ra Koh named it: Doing the deeper work. The assignment is to create two self-portraits, one with you in it and the other an object symbolizing you. The real challenge is to have it reflect you, right now. Go read about this more on the SOAR blog.

I am so accustomed to mostly considering Future Me or analysing Past Me (or Past Me‘s mistakes more like) that the idea of simply connecting with Present Me is rather startling in some ways. That’s not to say that I don’t make an effort to be present, because I do… but that’s usually easiest when being with someone I love, and not really in direct relation to myself. Does that make sense?

Anyway. Before I confuse the issue even more than I might have already… here are my two self-portraits:

I’ve decided to do Me Ra Koh‘s SOAR scholarship exercises on my blog this year. This one is a Business Coaching Exercise from Karen Buckley of the Wisdom Connection and here’s a part of her description of it:

‘Through calmly and courageously acknowledging things as they are we begin to free ourselves from the doubts, anxiety, fears and all the rest. Our hearts begin to expand with dignity and self-respect.’

As I began to go through the list of things to consider about the state of my business, right now… I mostly thought of things I didn’t have or hadn’t done, for whatever reason. Then I started to think of what I do have but dismissed a lot of it for being unexceptional… in other words, ‘not good enough’. What a realisation!

The truth is that what I have right now is fine. It’s what’s true in this moment. And it is the basis of what I’m about to create next, it’s the ground I’m stepping from… so it is good enough. For right now.

I love blogging. I love shooting. I love shooting in manual, and the other settings confound me now because invariably, they give me something other than what I’m seeing, what I’m creating. Winning  the 1D from Scott Bourne was so awesome, I can’t even describe it. Having this amazing camera definitely blew my mind. I love the images that I get from it and have seen a lessening of time spent editing because it is so much easier to get them the way I want them in camera. Yay! I’ve become so much quicker and more confident in Aperture, and it has improved to the point of being what I use most. Which I love! PhotoShop is rarely needed. Soo much quicker this way.

Cameron supports me wholeheartedly. He believes in my talent as well as what I’m standing for and that reminds me that I believe in my talent as well as what I’m standing for. I’m sure Chésaweh will one day tell me he feels the same way.

My sister described my portraits recently as capturing an essence about a person, in a moment when they are relaxed, open and vulnerable. It was awesome to hear someone else describe what I’m seeing, what I’m creating… because that’s exactly it. For me. I love seeing inside people, and then reflecting it back to them.

It’s been amazing to connect with photographers through the internet (thank you Twitter and Facebook) as well as in person. I can say that I’ve made some friends that I’m certain I’ll be connected to for quite a while. It’s kinda beyond awesome to meet people I can totally geek out with about all things photography… talk for hours about exposure, light, lenses, cameras, icons, framing…

It’s been even more incredible really connecting with the people I’ve been honoured to photograph. I am grateful that you opened up to me and then kept doing it. While letting me photograph you. And then again. You guys rock!