This kid, my kid, slipped on the step of a play structure while we were in Walnut Creek on Friday and got a fat lip. He cried, I wanted to cry but instead tried really hard not to freak out at the copious amounts of blood pouring out of him while I held him. I wiped his face, put a little pressure on the cut to slow the bleeding and checked that he wasn’t hurt anywhere else.

He gave me a watery smile, and declared that he wanted to climb up and come down the slide, one more time.

That’s just how he is.

Picks himself up, tells it how it is, and then has at it, one more time.

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So much about this video moves me. The melody, her vocals, the visual of her staring straight into the camera while her world fills with water.

Love.

Hope it moves you too.

(Go ahead- press the full screen button, lean back in your chair and just look and listen.)

Hannah Cohen: Child Bride on Nowness.com.

More soon. Can’t stop.

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Oh, yes! On a roll here. Two posts in one day! Woot. Couldn’t let a chance to share what I’m grateful for pass me by though. Speaking of which, I’d be grateful if you’d get on the horn and book your mini session! Ha!!

Some years ago, I was complaining to my dad about something or other. Essentially, it was about having asked for support and received what I perceived as criticism instead. I was quite upset and had a lot to say about it. After listening to my entire tirade, my father looked at me and gently suggested, ‘How about taking it all as support? Even when you’re certain it’s not, how about just looking at it for what it’s worth to you and letting the rest of it go?’

I’m sure I balked, ‘ What? Let it go?! And then what would I have to get indignant and upset about?!’

But the man made sense and for weeks and maybe even months, those words stuck in my head and I was able to take most anything with an open heart. Then life continued and I forgot. I started having expectations and demands again about how things and folks should be.

Last night, I remembered. Because recently, I asked for support and didn’t get it the way that I expected or wanted it. It didn’t look the way that I wanted it to. I became indignant and upset about it. And yet, my reaction to it has been a revelation. In thinking about why I feel offended and disrespected, I have distilled what motivates, inspires and fills me with gratitude for what I do.

I am grateful to be a mother to my child and the way that I do it matters to me. Although I don’t get paid to do it, and it seems like most consider it effortless, it IS a full time job and I am lucky to have it.

I am grateful to be an artist who gets to create works of art based on daily life and the simple love that creates family.

Photography is my zen.

I’m happy to be behind the lens photographing most anything but I feel most connected to the world, most at one with it when I’m photographing connection and emotion. Snippets of our existence.

So, thank you for that nugget you gave me years ago, daddy. I’m taking it all as support- looking at it for what it’s worth to me… and letting the rest of it go.

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I watched this video and cried. Because it’s so easy to forget that, often, you can use what you already have to solve your problems. If you’re willing to think creatively, do the research and talk to people… you can figure something out.

And these amazing people did.

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I can’t quite believe it’s already been two weeks since my surgery. I am well on my way to being fully myself again and actually managed to get a bit of editing done in these last couple of days. It’s definitely slow going and my usually impatient nature is something I have to wrangle because I am determined to ensure that my recovery does not languish. I’d like to avoid this kind of invasive procedure in my future as well, and there’s  nothing like the pain of healing incisions to motivate change in a life! Ha!!

We’ve been lucky to have friends helping us tremendously to cope with healing and resting… I mentioned a few last Sunday and this week, big thanks goes to Beth, Shelly, Linda, Revi and Rebecca. My mother-in-law also came over from Long Beach for one day (huge deal since my father-in-law is himself recovering from a much bigger surgery- a second kidney transplant!) and it was lovely to see her. We talked and connected and it was gratifying and affirming to be heard. Best of all though, was getting some pictures of Chésaweh with his grandma!

He’s just learned to wink so we HAD to get a shot of both of them at it… for grandpa! I’m sure by now this one’s been printed and framed at a certain home in the LBC!

After playing with trains and the new blocks grandma brought, it was time to play outside. Picking apples from our tree….

A little running after a couple rounds of ‘Ring a ring o’ roses’… (in case you’re wondering, that word in chalk means welcome in KiSwahili)

Drawing a tail for grandma. And then another for grandpa. Don’t ask me what that’s about. Just know that if he likes you, he’ll draw you a tail on the stone path to our front door.

One of my favourite portraits of grandma.

Some cuddles… note the scarves… after Chésaweh advised grandma to put on a scarf before heading outside, he insisted on putting one himself and chose this red one!

Then some kisses…

There’s naught better in this world than having this kid run into your arms!

And finally… what I like to call ‘The Ché Effect’… total bliss!

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I have a lot to be grateful for in my life in general and this week in particular. Writing these gratitude posts once a week is helping me be mindful of that. It’s been quite the week.

A dear friend left me thinking about how lucky I am when she went off to visit her grandma in the hospital a few hours ago. It’s so easy to feel incredibly isolated and lonely here, especially when most of your life is centered in your home and just about any engagement with people seems to require coordination and scheduling. I really miss the spontaneous, organic gatherings of my childhood. I still dream that someday I will live somewhere where that will be the norm.

In the meanwhile, I wanted to thank all the beautiful people who helped us this week. Lots of folks expressed their sympathy, support and encouragement on FB, Twitter and email and for that I am deeply grateful. It’s always touching to know that somewhere out there, someone is thinking of us.

I am especially grateful, however, to a few friends who were able to support us in person. There’s nothing quite like that human touch, is there?

Shelly & Jamieson- thanks for everything. Particularly for dropping your steaks to get us to the ER. You guys are what friends are made of.

Beth & fam- thanks for watching Chésaweh and me.. just like we were part of the family.

Peter, MarySue & Co – thanks for always being there for us, no matter what.

Joann – thanks for (all too brief!!) visit and the meal drop off. Delicious, nutritious and SO appreciated.

We love you guys so much! Thank you!!

I am also feeling incredibly grateful to the staff at Kaiser Richmond who renewed my trust in the KP group. I had a rather horrendous experience at Kaiser Oakland when I wound up there to birth my son and have felt rather ambivalent about their services since then. This visit was markedly different. There were still a few staff members who were rude, disconnected and cold. Thankfully, none of them were directly responsible for my care. I found those that were, were kind, compassionate, informative, empathetic, accomodating and connected.

Thank you to all of you – Ian, Dr. Leland, Peggy, Rose, Ronie, Belinda, Jennifer, Nancy, Dr. Fisher, Raj, Dr. Hackford, Barbara, Ayesha, Bo, Michelle, May, June, Brenda, Alicia, Jaspreet, Arjay, Harrison, Pat, Abby, Kim, Ms. Collier, Amanda, Michael, Sarah, Denise.  Apologies if I forgot anyone’s name. I am grateful nonetheless for your gracious care.

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This may sound really silly but I’m grateful for pretty flowers. They cheer me up, no matter what I’m feeling. And really, I can’t remember the last time I saw an ugly one. I don’t know if that says more about me or them but I’m grateful for it none-the-less.

They remind me of noble intentions. Noble intentions is a shorthand I use to remind myself that no matter how cruel or unkind a person may seem, they usually are doing the best they can with what they have… and they often earnestly believe in their motivations for doing whatever they’re doing. This shorthand really helps me tap in to my compassion so I can spend less energy judging or censoring them and more energy radiating love.

What about you? How do you deal with/counteract all the negative energy we’re constantly being bombarded with? More importantly, what are you grateful for today?

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